


Cognitive Distortions

by IronWoman359



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Episode: Can LYING Be Good??, Gen, Post-Episode: Can LYING Be Good??, Villain Deceit Sanders, mention of the dark sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 22:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16842133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronWoman359/pseuds/IronWoman359
Summary: Virgil knows something is wrong, he just knows it. By the time Deceit is revealed, he's not even surprised. But one thing that the snake says sticks with him, and it takes Virgil's best friend to chase the cognitive distortions away.





	Cognitive Distortions

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically Can Lying Be Good?? and its direct aftermath told from Virgil's point of view...specifically playing with the headcanon that Thomas isn't the only one who may have believed the claim that he had no morality.

Virgil was operating in an extremely heightened state even before the real trouble began. 

Between the anxiety over forgetting Joan’s play and the fight with Roman, Virgil was already on edge when he popped up for Thomas’s video, and before he even had time for his presence to settle in the room Roman appeared and the two found themselves picking up right where they had left off. So his heart rate was already higher than usual when Thomas suggested _maybe_ lying to Joan to spare their feelings as a course of action. Virgil stared at him, mouth agape; fighting to keep an echo out of his voice. 

“ _Lying_ is only going to bring about more trouble, Thomas, you know this.” 

He tried not to think of what _other_ trouble lying might bring about. Memories creeped into the corners of his mind, but he pushed them away. He had bigger things to worry about than his own past. 

This became more evident as Patton, oddly enough, seemed to be siding with Roman, despite it seeming fairly obvious that lying was an immoral act. In fact, the more Virgil thought about it, the more Patton seemed incredibly _off_ that morning. He was just about to ask his friend if everything was really ok, when Roman transported them all into his theater to “play the part.” 

Immediately, his attention was stolen by the huge role that Roman had placed on his shoulders. The part of him that wasn’t panicking was actually pleased that despite their recent argument, Roman had decided to entrust Virgil with the functionality of the show...but it was a very, _very_ small part. His heart raced as he dashed around backstage, taking his cues from Logan and setting everything up. He was so busy that he almost didn’t have any energy to spare watching his fellow sides fulfill their own roles. 

Almost. 

Once again, he found his attention was drawn to Patton, who was reacting…well, just _wrong_ to all of this. Not one pun had been said all morning, not one offended gasp at Roman’s homophobic caricature, and he was still oddly enthusiastic about the whole exercise in dishonesty. But then Roman was yelling at him about lights and Logan was going on about character lies and Thomas and Roman were starting to get uncomfortable and it was all too much but Patton was calling for the next scene…wait. 

Virgil frowned. Kant philosophy or no Kant philosophy, Patton _ignoring_ when the others were in obvious distress? That did _not_ add up. Patton went out of his way to keep them all _out_ of distress, even at the expense of his own comfort. 

Wait...no. 

No, it couldn’t be true, surely he was being paranoid…

“I don’t have my SIPPY CUP! _WHERE_ IS MY SIPPY CUP, TECH?” 

“I don’t know where it _is_!” Virgil hissed, dashing deeper backstage to find the prop. When he finally retrieved it and slipped forward to give it to Roman, he risked a glance out into the theater where Patton was sitting. The side was watching the events with a an amused, almost _hungry_ look in his eyes that made Virgil’s stomach twist into uncomfortable knots. 

_Oh God, why didn’t I notice sooner? No no no no…_

He frantically looked to the others, trying to warn them, but Thomas and Roman were struggling through their last act, and Logan’s attention was focused entirely on them. 

_I have to get them out of here…_

When Roman cried out in exasperation that it was “curtains, for sure!” Virgil seized his opportunity, lowering the curtains on the scene, accidentally tangling the creative side in the red velvet. 

_Sorry, Roman. It’s for your own good._

Back in Thomas’s living room, “Patton” was clearly starting to get desperate, pushing harder for Thomas to lie, despite everyone’s clear misgivings. How did they not see it yet? Virgil wanted to yell at them, to kick in and warn Thomas, but he knew it would be no use. He wasn’t strong enough to stop him on his own. 

“Virgil, buddy!” The too cheery voice cut through his thoughts, and he frowned at the other side, not bothering to hide his contempt. “I know you weren’t too keen on it at first, but come on! Could you stand to lose the support of one of Thomas’ friends?” 

Virgil rolled his eyes, but he felt his stomach tighten at the all too familiar tactic. Part of him wanted to run, to duck out into his room and never face the side he was staring down ever again. He clenched his fist inside his hoodie pocket, and glared. 

_No._

No, this time, he was going to stand up for himself, and more importantly, for Thomas. 

“Well yeah, Thomas’s friends make me feel more at ease,” he agreed. “But Thomas _lying_ would make me just as uneasy. And anyone who doesn’t _understand_ that should just _**shut up**._” 

“Woah now,” Thomas said, still not understanding, but Virgil didn’t look at him, keeping his eyes trained on the cardigan clad side before him. ( _Cardigan_ he realized suddenly. Not the hoodie Patton had been loathe to part with after Logan gifted it to him a few months ago.) 

“Virgil? It’s me!” he protested, staring straight into Virgil’s eyes. “Aren’t we friends?”

God, he sounded so genuine. How many times had he asked Virgil that before? Back when things were different, when Anxiety's name was kept hidden and his only interactions were with the _other_ sides. He suppressed a shudder at the memories. He had always hated them; they clearly hurt Thomas and he _knew_ that his job was to protect, no matter how many times Roman called him a villain. There had only been one face there in the darkness who had ever shown him an inkling of kindness in his life…but he knew now how fake even that was. 

Thanks to Patton, he knew what real kindness felt like, and it didn’t leave you feeling guilty. Thanks to Logan, he knew what real support from a friend was, and it didn’t mean you owed them something. Thanks to Roman, he knew that you could have a disagreement, a fight even, without jeopardizing the friendship or making one person ‘pay’ for what had happened to the other. 

He looked the bespectacled side straight in the eyes. 

“I’m not so sure we are,” he said quietly, and that was it. The other side tried, but to no avail. Thomas wouldn’t budge on his position. 

'Patton' snapped, the facade sliding away in an instant. Logan was silenced, but Virgil stayed focused on Thomas, keeping his voice calm and steady, sounding infinitely more confident than he felt. 

“Any information you want to know, you _can_ know. You just…have to be open to hearing it.” 

Thomas agreed, and Logan practically threw his hand off of his mouth, crying out the side’s name. 

“DECEIT!” 

Deceit smiled his sickly sweet smile at Virgil, who glared openly back. The knots of unease in his stomach turned to cold stones of fury as the Dark Side taunted his _real_ friends. But Logan was speaking up, and it sounded like Deceit might be able to be beat after all…

“WHERE IS PATTON?” Thomas cried suddenly, and Virgil’s heart nearly stopped. God, if so much as one hair on his best friend’s head was out of place…

Deceit laughed, a low, menacing sound that could really only be described as _evil._

“You foolish dummy,” he crooned. “I am, and always _have_ been Patton!” 

Virgil’s confidence drained instantly, a cold sense of dread left in its place. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that it was a lie. That’s what Deceit did, after all, he _lied_ to get what he wanted. 

But…Virgil had known Deceit for a long time. 

He didn’t lie _all_ the time, his words were peppered with truths, half-truths, and white lies that made it nearly impossible to know what to believe and what not to believe. And while he may not always lie, he was always cruel. 

Wouldn’t this be the ultimate trick? To make Virgil think he had freed himself and found a real friend, only to turn around and reveal that friend to be another fabrication? A lie, wrapped up in a trick and served on a plate of more lies…Virgil couldn’t stop the panicked thoughts from rising to the forefront of his mind, and he could vaguely hear Thomas’s breathing quicken. This was it. This was Deceit’s plan all along, to trick both Thomas and Virgil into thinking that there was good in him, then using Virgil’s ensuing panic to completely break the host down, ripe for the others to control. And he’d fallen for it. Everything he used to say was going to come true, he really was going to push Thomas over the edge, he was ruining everything an it was all _his fault oh god no **nononono–**_

“Ow, my head!” a familiar voice cried out, and Virgil’s heart leaped. 

“Oh, that hurt,” Deceit muttered as he stumbled, then quickly looked around the room. “Uh, I mean it didn’t hurt me…at all…ow!”

“Hey!” Patton cried, bouncing up next to Deceit. 

Virgil’s face lit up, and for once he didn’t try to hid it. Patton was here, right in front of him, his cat hoodie around his shoulders and a smile on his face, making puns that Virgil didn’t bother to stifle his laughter over, he was just so _relieved._

Patton was here. Patton was real. And with Patton here, it wasn't long before Deceit slunk away, back to his own part of the mindscape.

Then Thomas asked about the _others..._ the Dark Sides, as Roman called them. Virgil grimaced, and suddenly realized he was exhausted. He sunk away quietly, making a passing comment to Logan that he forgot almost as soon as he said it. He reappeared back in the mindscape, but despite wanting to go straight to his room like he usually did, he hung around in the living room, eyes fixed on the spot he knew Patton would rise up in. 

Soon enough, the moral side appeared, his face spreading into a grin when he saw Virgil. 

“Hey there, kiddo!” 

“Patton?” Virgil asked, the question he had wanted to ask catching in his throat. He knew it was silly, obviously this was the real Patton…but he had to make sure, somehow…it was the only way to make the pervasive thought vanish for good. 

Something flashed in Patton’s eyes, a genuine concern that Virgil knew was hard to fake. 

“Are you…I mean, can I…that is, is it ok if we…” Virgil struggled to find the words, and Patton broke out into a sad smile, somehow understanding exactly what his friend needed. 

“Of course, kiddo,” he said, opening his arms wide. Virgil hesitated only a moment before cautiously hugging the side back. Patton’s arms wrapped tightly around him, solid and real and _warm,_ and Virgil melted into the embrace. There was no way that this was a trick. 

For all of his impressive tricks and lies and impersonations, there was one thing Deceit could not fake: a good hug. The side was cold blooded, and his hugs leeched the warmth from whoever was unfortunate enough to be in his arms, leaving the recipient feeling unsatisfied and craving more of the contact when it would never be enough. 

But this?

This was a real hug. 

This was Patton. 

This was _Home,_ and Virgil finally felt himself relax. 

Things wouldn’t be quite the same anymore. Thomas knew about the others now; it was only a matter of time before they grew bolder, crawling out of the woodwork to make their voices known. But Virgil knew now, wrapped in Patton’s strong embrace, that as long as they all stuck together, everything would turn out ok. 


End file.
